Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Attack of the Ads everywhere..

I need to go into advertising. Everyday when I watch TV I think of commercials that would be much better and much funnier or more relevant that the ones I see. I've come up with tons of really good commercial ideas in my life. Some of them might not have been amazing or anything, but I know that they are better than some of the ones I see right now. And its not just commercials on TV its also ads that they send in the mail. Today I got what can only be called a mini-catalog for P&G products. But all it was was pages and pages of pictures of people smiling or with a towel on their head after stepping out if the shower with products on the bottom of the picture. The products weren't even being used in the pictures, if they hadn't had the pictures of whatever it was on the bottom I wouldn't have even know it was SUPPOSED to be an ad for P&G stuff. And all of that, all 15 pages or so was to give me a packet of cupons that was stuck on to the back. How about just sending me the cupons, or if you really feel the need to waste a ton of paper make the pictures relate to the product and maybe even put the cupons on those pages. I didn't even look at most of the pages I just took the cupons out of the back. If the cupons had been on the pages I would have looked at them.

And another thing. Why does everything on TV now have to be "brought to you by (insert thing here)"? And its everything. Just the other day my dad was watching football and the highlights were brought to us by someone. Not the whole game, not even all the highlights, just that particular highlight of that one play. Whats the point of all of this. I've never thought to myself "Gee I was going to use AT&T as my cell phone provider but now that I saw that Brett Farve's touchdown highlight was brought to me by Sprint I'll go with them instead". If I could even remember what was brought to me by who it would have the opposite effect. I'd go out of my way to buy things that weren't shoved down my throat. I feel like soon even things in my own life will be brought to me by sponsors. "This trip to the clinic brought to you today by Dr.Pepper: Taste the yumminess". Although if having things in my everyday life being brought to me by whatever would bring me a profit, I might think about it. Of course I'd make sure I only had sponsors of products that I liked. And I'd never have any pharmacutical companies bring anything on any day. Unless it was the makers of Methadose if I ever have to start paying for the clinic. But in general no drug companies. I hate those ads, its 5 seconds of what this pill does for you and 25 of what side effects you might have. And then the next one treats a side-effect of the pill that was on before that one.

In all truthfulness though I think it would be kind of fun to be in advertising, except for the part where people would hate me, but I would make the cool ones. The ones that everyone talks about and actually wants to watch. I'd make it a policy to only have 100% awesome ones. Its something I might need to look into. I'm not sure if it would be easy for me to get a job like that with everything in my past, but thats a bridge I'd cross later.

That said I guess I should go. I need to go find something else to do and whatnot.

This blog was brought to you by Philly Swirl Popsicles. Those things taste great

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Merry Christmas

I'm just gonna go ahead and say it. I'm not a fan of Christmas. And I'm not one of those adults that doesn't like Christmas anymore I never really liked it. My problem with Christmas is all the hype thats surrounding it. For months and months we are bombarded with commercials and specials and in-store displays telling us just how "magical" Christmas is, how "wonderful" its going to be. And then the day comes and its never, ever what they built it up to be. I don't think it could be. It wouldn't matter what happened that day, nothing could really live up to all the hype thats shoved down our throats for months. I mean think about it, we get at least 2 months of hype for one day. One little old day can't hardly live up to that. From the commercials we see we expect there to be a day full of happiness with no sadness or anger. A day where you can look up at the stars make a wish and it actually comes true. But thats not what really happens on Christmas. The issues we had with our families the week before still exist. The things that were heart-breaking to us a couple of days ago are still heart-breaking to us. And even if you do have a good day, when its all done and over you still get the feeling when the whole thing is said and done of "Thats it?? Thats what all the hullabuloo was all about?" It always leaves me feeling a little disappointed and a little empty. I want to send a letter of complaint to the people who for yet another year somehow made me believe that this year it was going to be different. Maybe all those years before I'd been sleeping when that magic stuff happened and thats why I always wondered where all the greatness was. But no. I think 26 straight Christmases proves to me that I am right, we are just much to bombarded with the media telling us how we are supposed to feel on Christmas. And honestly they do send the message that if you didn't get everything you wanted and you didn't get everyone everything they wanted you somehow failed Christmas. Wow. I've failed Christmas alot of times.

Christmas is too commercialized. I know I'm not anywhere close to the first person whos complained about it, but that should say something. I might be the only person in the world who is angry that Pillsbury doesn't have a birthday themed ready to bake cookie, but I'm far from the only person who is disenchanted with Christmas. And there is a major problem with that, when we start getting disenchatned with Christmas, the Christmas that the media sells us, we start to want to just write the whole hoilday off. And when we want to do that we miss the whole meaning of Christmas in the first place. The whole reason for the season. I know that Christmas isn't going to get less commercialized. Actually its going to get worse. As more and more people fight to get the "Christ" out of Christmas the whole meaning of Christmas is going to seem more and more like its all of those ads we see on TV. That leaves it up to all of us. To spread the message of Christmas and the love that should come with it, to the people that we love. Christmas shouldn't be about all of those commercials we see on TV. The ones that seem to imply that we have to do everything perfect in order to have a perfect Christmas. That we have to have a perfect family to enjoy being with them. Thats not at all true. Christmas, like the reason for Christmas, Jesus is for everyone. It doesn't matter if you can't buy everyone the gifts they want or if you might not have a great relationship with your uncle who can't forgive your past. Christmas should be about remembering the reason for the holiday and enjoying the REAL magic of it. Being able to celebrate that reason, no matter how much money you've got or how many gifts you give or get.

Merry Christmas.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010


This blog is basically going to be dedicated to a whole world of things that I look at sarcatically. Most of the time I'm going to aim for things that ALL people can understand, but today I need to look at the people at the Clinc who are idiots.....well some of them

At my methadone clinic when you get there alot of the times there is a line. When the line gets longer than 5 or 6 people one of the people is bound to start freaking out. Now I can understand people getting mad when the line isn't moving and theres no good reason other than the lady that despenses the methadone wanted a snack from the snack machines in the lobby. Waiting in a line so someone can munch on a Snickers bar does annoy me. Theres not reason to go get a snack from the snack machine when there is a line in the lobbt that goes all the way back to the same snack machine. Eat when its slow, or when you get off of work, the latest that you depense methadone is 10:15, so just be patient. But the people who annoy me are the ones who start acting like if they don't get to the front of the line NOW by the time they get up there, all the methadone will be gone. Like they are standing in line at a ticket counter and there might not be any thing avaliable when they get up there, or maybe only row ZZZ seat XXX with OBSTRUC VIEW on the ticket, but come on we are in the clinic. They have bottles upon bottles of the shit. They aren't going to run out. Unless you see a comotion up at the counter where someone busts out a gun and robs the clinic, you don't have anything to worry about. That guy that had to drop and then see his therapist and then talk to the doctor has been here for an hour already, nothing is going to happen to your dose if someone lets him in front. Honestly theres no reason to start yelling of someone doesn't move up in the line, why are you even angry about that? There isn't any invisable people in that big space that the person has made from not moving up. No one is going to walk in and say "Oh look they left a spot open for me, screw all the people behind me" I know that you're impaient and yes, its annoying to go through that whole process day after day after day, but think about it, in all of those days has anything bad ever happened when the girl who got pushed and flew into a door because someone shoved someone into her gets angry and decides that seeing she got shoved into the door right in front of the dosing window she'll just dose and leave. Come on she just flew about 14 feet and hit her head into the damn door, let her get in frony of the line. And that brings up another thing, the person who is supposed to be keeping order in the clinic and make sure shit like you freaking out, or people flying into doors shoud not be in the drop room taking a snooze. Its not nap time, its work time. You sit on your ass for at the most 6 hours a day, and most days only about 4 and watch people stand in line and calm down arguements. You don't need a fucking nap during work. Its not like you are really doing much. You are certanly there when people who aren't doing anything wrong have been in the building 3 mins after dosing and kicking them out, but when people get out of control its nap time? Oh, one more thing, all you people who are handing out doses, aren't you supposed to be nurses? I've personally witnessed and one time actually have been the person who has a seizure or something in the clinic and you just stand there totally confused like you don't know what to do. Did you leave to get snacks during that part of nursing school too? Its pretty bad when other clients in the clinic take better care of them than the people who are supposed to be medically trained. And the doctor too, when I ask you a medical question, you shouldn't stare at me like an idiot. I don't want to hear you tell me to ask my family doctor. Aren't you a doctor? I know when you look at that long ass line out there all you see is a huge pile of money, but come on, you've got to know something. And if I started talking about some of the therapists there. You shouldn't be out in the lobby making sure that I, and only me, aren't in the clinic after I dose. First of all what about the other 6 people that are here waiting for a ride or someone else? Why do only I have to go? And another thing, how do you have all this time to troll the lobby for me. Don't you have come counselling to do? Isn't that your job? I'll tell you what isn't your job though, assuming you know things anf then telling my business to someone else. You had NO idea what was happening to me the day the ambulance came to get me. To tell people I ODed was plain wrong. And then when I file a griveance you call me in your office to tell me that pretty much you lied your way out of getting in trouble and HAHA you can't do anything about it. And making people do stupid things, like carry a pen for a week and if they lose it punish them because they don't have enough responsiblity. Just stop. You think you are awesome and you aren't. Some people do not belong in settings like the methadone clinic, you are one of them. You look at us like you are better because you were never a junkie. Well I'd rather be a junkie than a judgemental asshole any day of the week.....

Well that wasn't as good or as funny as I'd hoped but it got some anger out. I promise better things later.....